I’ve almost always been chubby.

In my twenties, I got REALLY chubby.  After trying a ton of different things, I began using My Fitness Pal and used it to keep my calories under a certain about.

It worked, and I lost 65 lbs!  But since then, I haven’t been able to keep more weight off.

Over the years, I’ve kept working out at the gym consistently but it was very much at a maintenance level.

Over the past two years, however, I’ve started to get into Crossfit, and I love it.

I know, that’s what all Crossfitters seem to say, but I do, and here’s why.

  • I am an amputee.  A below knee amputee with extensive other damage, to be exact.  I never thought that I would be able to do the things that I am capable of today.  Doing Crossfit has pushed my boundaries, made me very uncomfortable, but has helped me attain levels of physical fitness that I really didn’t think were possible.
    • I didn’t think that, as an amputee, I could get better at balancing on a 2 x 4 while carrying heavy objects, but I have, and it helps me in my daily life.
    • I did’t think I could get better at squatting and lunging, but I have, and it’s also helped me.
    • It has all helped me, both physically and emotionally.
      • so here is where the problem arises.
  • I’ve always had a big appetite and now, because I work out harder and more often, my appetite can be much larger than the amount of calories I’m consuming.
  • I’m making great gains in the gym and in my physical well-being, but I am still chubby…in fact, I’ve been gradually gaining weight.

So, I’m signing up for a program at my gym called Transformers.  It’s a 12 week program designed to, in short, help you adjust your lifestyle, learn, and reach your goals.

I’m extremely nervous.  I hate feeling deprived.  I hate being told I’m not doing enough.  I hate feeling envious of other people who seem to not work out and eat what they want and still be skinnier than me, but I have to do something.

This is my only life, probably, and it is worth the investment of time and money to try better myself.

It’s not necessarily about looking a certain way, it’s about being the best me I can be.

It starts Monday!